Always
by pure insanity
Summary: Betrayal and murder what more do you expect when it comes to Seto and Jou
1. Leaving

WARNING*WARNING*WARNING*WARNING*WA . . . oh you get the picture In this fic there will be Yaoi (not explicit but it will still be there), this means male/male relationship. There is also mention of violence. It's very angesty. I like it that way.  
  
PI ~OK I have finally decided this will be my first fanfic that I will post on fanfiction.  
  
And~ Finally. Gla! You have like a ton written but nnnnnnoooooooooooooo! You have to write one for your new favorite song.  
  
PI ~ Yea but I love that song  
  
Susysunshine ~ What about that one that you started and never finshed?  
  
PI ~ I'm working on it.  
  
Susysunshine ~ But you haven't even finished the first chapter *wapps PI on the back of her head* go work on it!  
  
PI ~ No! I like this one better.  
  
Susysunshine ~ Fine be that way, but if you get flamed don't come crying to me.  
  
PI ~ NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Wimpers* but I love you!  
  
And ~ What about me?  
  
PI ~ What about you? OH, oh, yea . . . right. Well you can go torch the bananas and marshmallows so we can all have a snack together.  
  
And ~ OKAY! *runs off towards the bon-fire with bananas in one hand and marshmallows in the other.*  
  
Susysunshine ~ Get on with the fic already before I tell the readers, *(whispers to And) if there are any* what your real name is.  
  
PI ~ Ack! No don't do that! Okay okay, disclaimer time  
  
Disclaimer  
  
I, Pure Insanity, do here by denounce any rumors that I own Yugioh, its characters, the song Always, or any of the band members of saliva. I will also never own them, I barely own the books I need for my classes. So . . . read the poem below (which incidently I don't own either) Me no own, You no sue!  
  
Happy reading!  
  
  
  
  
  
"Always"  
  
  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Leaving."  
  
"Why"  
  
". . ."  
  
"Answer Me!"  
  
"Don't be so blind!"  
  
"What do you mean by that?" You shout at me. God I don't believe you. I know your secret. Didn't think I knew it did you. Well I do. Every night, after we go to bed and you think I'm asleep, you leave. You always come back, but where do you go? I was tempted the first night I felt you leave, but I thought that would betray your trust so I stayed. That first night was a year ago today. I still don't know where you go. But I do know one thing. I know who you go to.  
  
I can't comprehend life if you weren't by my side, but I'm going to find out. I still love you with all my heart. That's why when you would leave l cried. I lie in bed, our bed, and cry. I wouldn't be surprised if you knew that I did that. Mokuba knows. He knows more than he should, but that's my fault.  
  
He found me one morning with the tears. You had gone to work and I was just standing there crying, in the same spot where you kissed me goodbye before you left. He hugged me, but didn't say a word. I think he's lost faith that we'll get through this.  
  
Now you stand there, with that look. You know the one that you give when you want an answer. So I'll give you one along with one tear as it trails down my face. "Don't be so blind."  
  
  
  
  
  
I hear... a voice say, "Don't be so blind"...  
  
it's telling me all these things...  
  
that you would probably hide...  
  
am I... your one and only desire...  
  
am I the reason you breathe...  
  
or am I the reason you cry...  
  
Always... always... always... always... always... always... always...  
  
I just can't live without you...  
  
  
  
  
  
Someone has to be the first. The first to make a move, you were the first. You started this; you made the first move in our game. But now it's my turn and I am going to make my move, I hate you for this. You are my one true love, and it hurts me that you make me cry. YOU of all people that I trusted made me cry.  
  
So this is what it feels like to have your heart broken by the one person that you truly love.  
  
  
  
  
  
I love you...  
  
I hate you...  
  
I can't get around you...  
  
I breathe you...  
  
I taste you...  
  
I can't live without you...  
  
I just can't take any more...  
  
this life of solitude...  
  
I guess that I'm out the door...  
  
and now I'm done with you...  
  
  
  
  
  
I zip up my bag and turn towards the door, and turn away from you. You grab my arm harshly and spin me to face you. I look to your eyes, when mine make contact with yours your grasp brutally tightens as you realize I'm really going to leave.  
  
"You . . your. . . your really leaving"  
  
"You don't want me around"  
  
". . ."  
  
"Goodbye Seto."  
  
I turn from you and pick up my bag. That's when I hear it.  
  
  
  
  
  
I feel... like you don't want me around...  
  
I guess I'll pack all my things...  
  
I guess I'll see you around...  
  
Its all... been bottled up until now...  
  
as I walk out your door...  
  
all I hear is the sound...  
  
Always... always... always... always... always... always... always...  
  
I just can't live without you...  
  
  
  
  
  
You know I gave you my heart. My whole life was yours and you tore it apart. All I wanted was for you to love me back. You said you did, but why did you leave and go to him? I cannot take it anymore, being left alone, separated from the one person who I can't live without. But you forced my hand. So I'm taking my turn. I'm going to find out how to live without you. It's my choice, you helped me make it, and it's the last one.  
  
  
  
  
  
I love you...  
  
I hate you...  
  
I can't get around you...  
  
I breathe you...  
  
I taste you...  
  
I can't live without you...  
  
I just can't take any more...  
  
this life of solitude...  
  
I guess that i'm out the door...  
  
and now i'm done with you...  
  
  
  
I love you...  
  
I hate you...  
  
I can't live without you...  
  
I left my head around your heart...  
  
Why would you tear my world apart...  
  
Always... always... always... always...  
  
  
  
I look up at you. My vision is a little hazy around the edges but I still can see blood all over your clothes, and on your hands. Are you satisfied? Do you feel like a man now that I'm not leaving? Is this what you wanted?  
  
You cradle me to you and I look down at myself. Blood. That's all I see. I can't see exactly where it's coming from, I just know its mine and I don't want to be alone anymore. Next to my hand is the gun. I guess you forgot about it. I pick it up, but you don't notice. You still don't notice that I have the gun, and my hand starts to shake as I raise it. Your hand covers mine before I drop it. I guess you did notice. You turn the gun so the barrel is facing your chest. You cock it for me before letting go. You lean down and kiss me and before you pull away I pull the trigger.  
  
  
  
  
  
I see... the blood all over your hands...  
  
does it make you feel... more like a man...  
  
was it all... just a part of your plan...  
  
the pistol's shakin' in my hands...  
  
and all I hear is the sound...  
  
I love you...  
  
I hate you...  
  
I can't live without you...  
  
I breathe you...  
  
I taste you...  
  
I can't live without you...  
  
I just can't take any more...  
  
this life of solitude...  
  
I guess that I'm out the door...  
  
and now I'm done with you...  
  
I love you...  
  
I hate you...  
  
I can't live without you...  
  
I love you...  
  
I hate you...  
  
I can't live without you...  
  
I just can't take any more...  
  
this life of solitude...  
  
I pick myself off the floor...  
  
and now I'm done with you...  
  
Always...  
  
Always...  
  
Always...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
. . . end 


	2. In the End

WARNING! This fic contains bad stuff. Like Yaoi! What does Yaoi mean? Let me answer that, Male/Male relationships. So if you don't like it then don't read it. If you read the first chapter (if you didn't I suggest you do that or this story may not make sense) there is death and other bad stuff in here. Like seduction and deviousness. Other than that its good.  
  
Disclaimer~ I do not own Yugioh or its characters, I also do not own the phrase "In the End" but I really liked it so I'm borrowing it.  
  
Pi~ Well I think I lost my sanity. Seto~ Duh, your name is Pure insanity. Pi~ Oh yea! I forgot! Seto~ Whatever! Pi~ I was unsure if I was gonna write this or not but fell into a black hole of despair and this is what I came out with. Seto~ Liar, you fell off your bed, hit your head and came up with it. Pi~ Fine! Whatever! Kill what little rep I have. Keep this up and I'm going to quit writing about you and Jou. Seto~ Quit lying, liar! Jou~ Hey you forgot to mention two things (whispers it in Pi's ear) Pi~ Oh yea! I would like to give a shout out to Kitsune Hashiba and everyone needs to read his story "Faith lost" it's a goody! And one more thing  
  
Me no own, You no sue!  
  
  
  
"In the End"  
  
It was a beautiful ceremony. Everyone cried for them, excluding myself of course, I was being strong so everyone had a shoulder to cry on. The coroners did a wonderful job on the bodies, they both looked very peaceful. The last time I saw them they both looked so upset and distraught. They were buried side by side in the Kaiba Plot, Mokuba wanted it that way it was very touching. The after party was a bore. Well it was until I talked to Yugi.  
  
~Flashback to the Funeral after party at the Kaiba Mansion ~  
  
"I have to tell you something."  
  
"Ok, sure, do you want to go somewhere private and talk?" I asked with sincerity. I followed Yugi upstairs and into the last room on the right at the end of the hallway. When I looked around the room, I noticed two things, one, the room had been recently cleaned and two, it belonged to Jou. "So what did you want to tell me Yugi?"  
  
He picked up a picture on the nightstand, I couldn't see what it was from where I stood but I didn't move, he let out a shaky breath, "Its about Jou, he told me something the morning of his death, and I need someone to talk to about it." He looked over at me, with his naive violet eyes pleading for me to listen to his confession. I sat on the bed, motioned for him to come sit next to me, and waited quietly for him to continue. He still had the frame in his hands but now I could see it. It was a picture of Jou with Seto's head on his shoulder with protective arms wrapped around him. A very touching picture if I do say so myself.  
  
"Jou would kill me if he knew I was going to tell someone, but I guess he can't do that now, can he." Sad laughter came from Yugi and I leaned over and put a reassuring arm around his shoulders. "Jou said that Seto was cheating on him." Well that was rather blunt wasn't it? Yugi continued, "He told me that he knew that Seto still loved him, he could see it in his eyes. He didn't know why he was cheating, but he was going to leave him until Seto made a decision between him or his mystery lover. I guess he never made it that far, huh?" That question did not need an answer so I didn't give one. Instead I gave a question.  
  
"Did he say who Seto was cheating with?"  
  
Yugi shook his head, silent tears rolling down his cheeks, "No he just said that he was going to leave him, and I offered him to say with at the game shop until he got back got back up on his feet. But you know the typical Jou; he's no charity case. He said that he was going to live with his Aunt, the one whom he always loved and who loved him back."  
  
That's when Yugi broke. He twisted to me and cried his heart out into my shirt. I wrapped him in a hug and whispered soothing words until he calmed down.  
  
Finally Yugi pulled away and continued with his account of what happened. "Well he said he had better hurry before Seto go home from work but he asked me to do two things for him. He first asked me to not tell anyone about our conversation and secondly he asked me to give you this note yesterday, but before I could I got the call of Jou's death and was too distraught and I completely forgot. He told me not to read it, that it was for your eyes only." He handed me an envelope and got up from the bed and headed to the door. "I'll see you downstairs, ok?"  
  
"Of course, Yugi, of course."  
  
He quietly walked out the door and pulled it shut with a click. I looked down at the envelope, it was not addressed to anyone in particular but that doesn't mean anything does it. I opened it and slipped out a piece of paper and unfolded it. A quick look at the paper told me that Jou had been crying when he wrote this; tearstains were adorned by it along with his unique writing. The note read:  
  
To you it concerns,  
  
I now know that you where the one that has done this to my life, you dark bastard. Turning my world upside-down.  
  
No one would expect you, is that why you did it?  
  
Was it because you could?  
  
Because you knew you would get away with it?  
  
Why did you use Seto? He meant nothing to you.  
  
Was it because we broke up?  
  
I'm sorry that I didn't love you, I tried to but I couldn't, but you never had to bring him into this. I may never know the answer to my questions. I just want you to know that I do know you are responsible, that in the end, I know what you are Yami.  
  
Jounouchi  
  
~Back to present time~  
  
Now, I stand in front of their graves, flowers in one hand and a note of my own in the other. I can feel the tears burning down my cheeks; I loved him so much that my heart still aches for him. But I wasn't good enough, he couldn't love me, he had to turn to my only rival for love. That day was the day I died, the day that you confessed to your friends, and me, that you and Seto where in love. I cried for days after, I didn't talk to anyone.  
  
One day I woke up and decided to get revenge on the person that stole my love from me. That was the night when I first slept with Seto. I had to drug him for I knew he wouldn't come willingly. When he came to all he could remember was being with me, he started to storm out but I told him that if he did not meet me every night I would tell Jounouchi how he seduced me to bed. That is how it started Seto's sneaking around. And every night for an added bonus I would tell Seto that Jou would leave him and come running to me if he found out. That's why I think he kept coming, Seto believed me and love Jou to much to let him know what had happen. But that was my intention all along, to make Jou leave him and come running to me for comfort. However, I only got half of my desire.  
  
I think I pushed Seto too far to fast. I can only imagine how he felt when Jou told him he was leaving, and I would bet my life that he thought Jou would come to me. That must be why he shot Jou. Seto couldn't stand to think of Jou with me, and I don't blame him. So now I confess to my love and my love's love. Placing the flowers down on the grave of the man I adored. Then putting the letter on his love's grave.  
  
Walking away from the site I think that I should just rid myself of all the pain, take the easy way out. But I can't I have Yugi, my hikari to live for, because in the end, that's all I have.  
  
END! 


End file.
